do you ever have one of those days where it's just SO obvious to you that, "wow, i love my kids" ? don't get my wrong, i've loved my kids their entire life, but i'm talking about those times when it just sort of hits you just how MUCH you love your kids? i've been having a lot of those lately. it makes me realize how often i take it for granted. i get caught up in being a mom (with all the mother duties such as feeding, cleaning, changing, bathing, teaching, diciplining, etc.) that sometimes i forget to take the time to really look at them and remember why i'm really doing it. not because i'm a mom and HAVE to do it. but because i really want to do it for them. it's actually a scary thought when you consider how much you actually love these little angels, knowing that you would willingly give up your own life for them. there's really nothing, i don't think, that i wouldn't do for my girls. i didn't realize i was so selfless! the other day, i was sitting the girls down in the living room to watch a movie so i could get the kitchen cleaned up and some laundry done. they were being fussy and loud and i was doing my best to ignore it so that i could have a kept house for them to play in. i was tired and cranky and was hoping to get these few minutes to myself (as much as a mommy can when the kids are awake). it, of course, never works that way, and this day was no different. noe kept running in to the kitchen or the laundry area and wanted to "help" or wanted juice or just screamed at her sister not to touch something. mali was fussing because noe kept leaving the room and she doesn't like to be alone. finally, i turned around as noe came into the kitchen again, ready to tell her to go sit down or she could sit in time out (which tells you just how crazy i was since she only gets time out about once a week and usually for spitting her food onto the floor for the dog), and she stops and says "hugs, mommy." how can you say no? so i gave her a big hug. then she says "kisses, mommy." so she gave me kisses. then she said "mei mei, kisses." so she took my hand and led me to mali to give her kisses. then she patted the couch and said , "cuddle, mommy". so the three of us cuddled on the couch and watched the lion king (well, we watched "hakuna matata" over and over again since that's noe's favorite part). the whole time, noe pet my hair like i do with her when she needs comforted, and tickled mali and laid her head on my shoulder. it just kind of put things in perspective, i think. yes, it's important to have the house clean, but i think that cuddle time comes first.

another time was yesterday with mali. poor mali gets the short end of the stick all the time because she's not mobile and noe is. so i'm constantly sitting mali on her mat or in the walker or in her high chair so that i'm free to move about and chase noe. i am ashamed to admit that mali doesn't get nearly the amount of attention from me as noe did when she was a baby (which wasn't that long ago). it's rare to get one-on-one time with her. well, yesterday, while noe was napping, i hung out with mali in the living room for a while. she pulled herself up on me and gave me really slobbery baby kisses, grinned and giggled with me, played with her toys with me, tried to give me her pacifier (which is really generous since she loves her paci), babbled at me and just looked at me with those pretty brown eyes. we had a lot of fun together (which, of course, only makes me feel worse about not getting to have those moments more often). i was actually kind of sad to have to put her down for her nap after a while.

anyway, those are just some of the sentimental ramblings swirling in my head today.

to other news, yes, for those of you that haven't heard, i am writing a book. it's a comedy (which is actually one of the hardest for me because i've always struggled with dialogue) and i'm pretty far into it. yes, i've done this before and never finished, but this time...i actually have a dead line! i have to have written something every two week at least to share with the writers group. it's really been working well for me, and i have high hopes for this one. if you would like to read excerpts from it, by all means, let me know and i'll send you some as long as you promise to give me brutal honesty in your comments back. it's what i need.

anyway, i will get back on soon and post some pictures. until then, be good.